Building a sex life you choose
Abstaining is half a definition. How to write down what you are moving toward, what to do about masturbation, apps and fantasy, and how to tell a chosen sex life from a compulsive one.
Repairing a relationship after betrayal
What actually helps a betrayed partner, why they need support that does not come from you, and the model of partner behaviour you should refuse to let anyone apply to them.
SAA, SA and SLAA: how they differ
The three fellowships are not interchangeable. What each one means by sobriety, which one excludes people by design, and how to pick the room you can actually live inside.
Shame, and the loop it keeps running
Why feeling worse about it reliably produces more of it, and two specific moves that interrupt the loop: shortening the gap, and describing the behaviour instead of the person.
You acted out. What now?
Get through the next twelve hours and make one call. What to do tonight, what genuinely cannot wait until you feel better, and why the punishment you are planning is the thing that produces the next one.
Mapping the cycle before acting out
Write your own preoccupation and ritual stages down in an hour, find the earliest point where the sequence is still interruptible, and put the friction there instead of at the end.
The first thirty days, and what changes
What the first month realistically looks like, why the second week is the one to plan for, and what genuinely changes in thirty days as against what does not.
Disclosure: what to tell a partner
How to plan one complete disclosure instead of a slow drip of new revelations, what your partner genuinely needs to know, and the support both of you need in place first.
Cutting off access: apps, cash and contacts
Close the four practical routes to acting out: the apps and accounts, the money, the contacts, and the times and places. Then plan the ninety seconds after.
Getting through an urge to act out
Interrupt the run-up rather than the final moment. What the preparation stage looks like, how to break it, and what to do if you are already past the point where it feels optional.
Is my sexual behaviour out of control?
The recognised criteria, in plain language, and how they differ from a fellowship's definition, a church's, or a partner's. A self-check with no label at the end.
How to stop compulsive sexual behaviour
Compulsive sexual behaviour is recognised in ICD-11 as an impulse control disorder. Define your own bottom line, then put two obstacles in front of it today.