Say it once, in about three sentences, without a reason you have to defend. Then expect the pull back, and have somewhere for those friendships to live that is not the game.
Three sentences, said once, to the people who will actually notice. What you are doing, that it is about you rather than them, and what you would like to keep. No reason you have to defend, no leaving date negotiated in a group call, no promise to come back for the next season. Then expect the pull back about a week later.
Why this is harder than uninstalling
Because it is not a game you are leaving, it is a room with people in it.
If your guild, your clan or your five-a-side squad is where you talk to people most evenings, then announcing you are stopping is announcing you are leaving a social life. Anyone who tells you that is trivial has never been in one. The guilt is not irrational and neither is the reluctance.
There is also a job attached. You might be a raid lead, the one who organises, the one everyone counts on for Thursday. Leaving costs other people something real, and pretending it does not will make you feel worse when they say so.
So the aim here is not to make it painless. It is to make it one conversation instead of six weeks of half-leaving.
What to say
Keep it to about three sentences. Longer invites a negotiation.
"I'm stopping playing for a while. It's got out of hand for me and I need a proper break from it, nothing to do with any of you. I still want to be in the chat and I'd like to keep talking."
That is the whole thing. Notice what is not in it.
**No case for the prosecution.** You do not have to prove you have a problem. If you start listing your worst nights, someone will helpfully argue that they play more than that, and you will end up defending a diagnosis you never claimed.
**No end date.** "For a while" is honest. "Two months" turns into a countdown that everyone including you will be watching.
**No conditions.** Do not say you will still come back for raids, or for the new season, or for ranked with the usual four. You will, and then the conversation was for nothing.
**No apology tour.** One acknowledgement if you have a role people rely on. "Sorry to drop the Thursday thing on you, I'll help find someone to take it over." Then stop.
Send it in writing rather than on voice if you can. Writing lets you say it once, in the words you chose, without a live audience.
Who to tell, and who not to
Not the whole roster. Three groups, in this order.
**The four or five you actually care about.** Individually, before the group announcement. It matters to them that they did not find out with everyone else, and these are the friendships you are trying to keep.
**Anyone relying on you for something.** A raid slot, a team sheet, an officer role. They need notice more than they need feelings.
**The group, once, in a message.** Then leave it there. Do not keep updating them on how you are getting on.
There is a fourth group: the people you have never spoken to outside the game and do not particularly want to. You owe them nothing. You are allowed to just stop appearing.
Then the pull back
It usually arrives between five and ten days in, and it does not feel like relapse. It feels reasonable.
The season ends Sunday and you'll lose the rewards. Someone messages saying the group is falling apart without you. There is one event you'd genuinely regret missing. It is Friday and the flat is quiet.
The honest read on that: some of it is real, and all of it works better on you when the evening is empty. That is why the friendships need somewhere else to live before the pull arrives, not after. Numbers in your phone, a group chat off the platform, one thing with a date on it inside the first week. [Moving the people before you uninstall](/guides/gaming/uninstalling-without-losing-your-friends) is the practical version, and it is the step people skip.
If you do go back for the one event, you have not undone anything. Note the day and what you were feeling that afternoon, because that is the useful part, and then carry on. Rules made in shame are worse than the ones you made when calm.
The part people do not say out loud
Some of these friendships will not survive it. Not most, but some.
A few of them were held together by the shared activity, and without it there is warmth and nothing to say. That is a genuine loss and it is worth being a bit sad about. It is not evidence that they were fake, and it is not evidence that you were being used. Most adult friendship runs on a shared activity of some kind. Yours ran on this one.
Which is the argument for adding something that is not them, early. A five-a-side, a class, a sibling you see on Sundays. If every relationship you have runs through one game, the game is holding a great deal more than it should, and [what it is actually giving you](/guides/gaming/what-the-game-is-actually-giving-you) is worth working out before you try to replace it.
If somebody takes it badly
Occasionally someone will. Usually it is one of two things.
The first is a person whose own gaming your decision has just made visible to them. Their reaction is about them. You do not have to manage it, and you should absolutely not turn your leaving into a conversation about their playing.
The second is someone who genuinely relied on you and is annoyed. That one is fair. Give them notice, help hand over whatever you were carrying, and let them be annoyed for a while. It passes.
What you do not do is stay for another season because someone was upset. That is how people end up leaving four times.
Common questions
**How do I tell my guild I'm quitting?** One short message, to the people who matter first and the group second. What you are doing, that it is not about them, what you would like to keep. Give notice on anything you were responsible for and do not negotiate a leaving date in a group call.
**Do I have to explain why I'm stopping?** No. "It's got out of hand for me" is a complete sentence. Detail invites debate, and you did not come to be argued out of it.
**What if they ask me to come back for one raid?** Decide before they ask, because in the moment you will say yes. If you do go back once, treat it as information rather than failure, and note what the day felt like beforehand.
**Will I lose my friends if I stop playing?** Some of the ones held together only by the game will fade. The ones you move to a phone number and a standing call usually do not. Doing that move before you leave makes a large difference.
**Should I tell them it's an addiction?** Only if you want to, and it is not required. The recognised criteria are demanding and describe a small proportion of people who play, so most people stopping do not meet them and do not need the word to justify the decision.
Sources
[WHO, Gaming disorder frequently asked questions](https://www.who.int/standards/classifications/frequently-asked-questions/gaming-disorder). The criteria, the twelve month requirement, and that gaming disorder affects only a small proportion of people who play.
[CNWL, National Centre for Gaming Disorders](https://www.cnwl.nhs.uk/national-centre-gaming-disorders). The NHS clinic for people in England aged 13 and over, which accepts self-referrals as well as referrals from family members.
[Internet and Technology Addicts Anonymous](https://internetaddictsanonymous.org/). Free online meetings and UK in-person groups, if you want a room of people who have made the same call.
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