Check their breathing first. If they don't wake when you talk loudly to them and gently shake their shoulders, or their breathing is slow, shallow, irregular or absent, call 999 now and tell the crew everything they've taken. If they are breathing, put them in the recovery position and stay with them. Everything else waits until morning.
Tonight is one of three nights. A medical emergency, a situation where someone could get hurt, or a long night where nothing happens except that you can't sleep. Work out which.
If this might be an overdose
We Are With You lists the signs. They "don't wake up when you talk loudly to them or gently shake them by the shoulders". Their "breathing is slow, shallow or irregular, or they are not breathing at all". They "look pale and clammy", they "are unable to speak", they "are confused". Add bluish or greyish lips and fingernails, which shows differently depending on skin tone, very small pupils, choking noises, and vomiting.
You don't need to be sure. Being wrong costs you an ambulance call.
- **Check you're safe before you go near them.** Needles, spilled liquid, anyone else in the room.
- **Try to wake them.** Talk loudly, shake their shoulders gently.
- **Look at their chest.** Is it moving.
- **Put them in the recovery position**, on their side, so they don't choke.
- **Call 999.** FRANK is blunt about the next part: "tell the responders everything you know about the drugs taken, it could save their life."
- **Hand over anything left.** "If an ambulance comes and you have any drugs left, hand them over to the crew as it may help." FRANK adds that "in most circumstances they won't tell the police."
- **Stay, and keep your voice level.** FRANK again: "stay calm and be reassuring, don't scare them or chase after them."
Fear of getting them in trouble is what makes people hesitate on step five.
Naloxone, and why you're allowed to have it
Naloxone reverses an opioid overdose long enough for help to arrive. Most families never learn they can keep it at home.
UK government guidance names who can be supplied it without a prescription: "a person who uses drugs, a carer, a friend, a family member or a peer of someone who uses drugs", along with outreach workers and hostel managers. It has to be "for the purpose of saving life in an emergency".
You can't get it at 3am. You can get it tomorrow, from a local drug service or a pharmacy, and then you have it for the night after. In Scotland, [NHS inform](https://www.nhsinform.scot/healthy-living/drugs-and-drug-use/drugs-what-you-need-to-know) says "all pharmacies in Scotland now hold naloxone for use in emergency situations". Worried about guessing wrong? We Are With You: "if someone hasn't overdosed on opioids, naloxone won't harm them."
Before you pour the alcohol down the sink
This is the advice everyone gives you, and for some people it's dangerous. If the person you love is physically dependent on alcohol, stopping suddenly can cause severe withdrawal. UK clinical guidance is explicit: "People with potential or diagnosed alcohol dependence who are not admitted to hospital should be advised not to stop drinking suddenly as this can lead to dangerous acute withdrawal."
The timings matter. "Alcohol withdrawal symptoms generally start within 6 to 24 hours after stopping drinking and can last around a week." And "delirium tremens usually emerges between day 2 and 3 (occasionally up to day 5) of alcohol withdrawal in a person with severe alcohol dependence." That looks like agitated confusion, seeing things, shaking badly, a racing heart. It needs medical help, fast.
So tonight, if they drink daily and shake in the mornings, don't empty the house. Get them to a GP or a free alcohol service and let a clinician plan the stopping. It feels like the opposite of doing something. It's the version that doesn't end in an ambulance.
If the danger in the house is a person
Some people reading this at midnight aren't supporting someone who needs help. They're frightened of someone, and the drinking is part of how they get controlled. If you recognised yourself there, that's your answer.
- **National Domestic Abuse Helpline**, run by Refuge: **0808 2000 247**. Free and in confidence, 24 hours a day.
- **Men's Advice Line**: **0808 8010 327**, Monday to Friday 10am to 5pm, for all male victims of domestic abuse and those supporting them, including trans and non-binary people.
- **Galop**, for LGBT+ people: **0800 999 5428**.
- **999** if it's happening now.
[When it isn't addiction and it is abuse](/guides/supporters/when-it-is-not-addiction-it-is-abuse) helps you tell them apart. You don't have to have decided anything to make the call.
The long night, when nothing is technically happening
They're breathing. Nobody's going to hospital. And you're sitting up.
- **Take the car keys.** Not as a punishment. Because people drive.
- **Move the paracetamol and the prescriptions**, and lock the back door.
- **Sort the kids first**, before anything else.
- **Eat something.** You almost certainly haven't.
- **Don't start the conversation.** Nothing said to someone drunk or high at 1am survives to morning, except the part where you both said something unforgivable. [What to say, and what never helps](/guides/supporters/what-to-say-and-what-never-helps) is for daylight.
- **Text one person the truth**, even if it's four words and they're asleep.
- **Go to bed before you've solved it.** You won't solve it tonight.
If you're angry rather than sad, that's normal, and it isn't evidence you've become the problem. Jim Orford's research describes the ordinary family response as being "worried, preoccupied with thinking about the relative and the problem, feeling nervous and panicky, irritable and quick tempered, low and miserable, annoyed and resentful." Resentment is on the list.
Who you can actually phone
- **Al-Anon UK, 0800 0086 811**, 10am to 10pm, 365 days a year, for anyone affected by someone else's drinking. The people answering are members rather than professionals and can't give medical advice. They've been where you are.
- **Families Anonymous UK, 020 7498 4680**, daily 1pm to 4pm and 6pm to 9pm. Covers drugs, which Al-Anon does not.
- **FRANK, 0300 123 6600**, 24 hours, for drugs questions.
- **Samaritans, 116 123**, any hour, if the one who needs to talk turns out to be you.
- **[Adfam](https://adfam.org.uk/)**, "the leading charity in England for all the millions of people affected by someone else's drinking, drug use or gambling". It runs a peer forum, not a helpline.
Here's the honest part. Between 10pm and 9am, the only national line we can verify for a family member in the UK is DAN 24/7 in Wales, **0808 808 2234**, available anytime day or night. At 3am elsewhere it's Samaritans, 999, or a forum full of people who are also awake. That's a real gap, and we'd rather say so than send you to numbers that ring out.
Renovyn has a [side of the app built for supporters](/for-supporters), for keeping a record of nights like this. It isn't treatment and it isn't a crisis line. Tonight, a voice on the phone beats an app.
Common questions
**How do I know if it's an overdose or if they're just asleep?** Snoring that sounds like choking or gurgling is not sleep. If they don't respond to a loud voice and a shake, call 999.
**Will the police be called if I ring an ambulance for drugs?** FRANK says that if you hand any remaining drugs to the crew, "in most circumstances they won't tell the police." Not calling is the risk worth worrying about.
**Should I pour their drink away while they're asleep?** Not if they drink daily and get shaky or sick without it, because sudden withdrawal in someone dependent can be dangerous. Let a GP or a free alcohol service plan it instead.
**Is any of this my fault?** No. And you'll ask again tomorrow, because the question doesn't go quietly. [What is actually yours to carry](/guides/supporters/what-is-actually-yours-to-carry) takes it apart properly.
Sources
- [We Are With You, signs of a drug overdose](https://www.wearewithyou.org.uk/advice-and-information/advice-for-you/signs-of-a-drug-overdose). The overdose signs and naloxone doing no harm if no opioids were taken.
- [Talk to FRANK, what to do in an emergency](https://talktofrank.com/get-help/what-to-do-in-an-emergency). Telling responders everything, and confidentiality.
- [GOV.UK, supplying take-home naloxone without a prescription](https://www.gov.uk/guidance/supplying-take-home-naloxone-without-a-prescription). Who may be supplied naloxone.
- [GOV.UK, clinical guidelines for alcohol treatment](https://www.gov.uk/guidance/clinical-guidelines-for-alcohol-treatment/16-alcohol-care-in-acute-hospitals). Sudden withdrawal and delirium tremens.
