Replacing it with something real
Stopping leaves a gap the shape of whatever the behaviour was doing for you. Name the function, match the replacement to it rather than to the activity, and expect the substitute to feel worse at first.
Repairing what it cost you
Start one repair, not all of them. Money first if money is involved, and in the right order, because most people pay the wrong debt first. Then time, then one relationship.
SMART Recovery, twelve steps or therapy
Three routes for a compulsion with no name. What each one asks of you, which ones need your problem to have a name, and how to check a therapist is who they say they are.
The loop underneath every compulsion
Cue, routine, relief, and then a cost that feeds the next cue. Draw your own version on one sheet, find the link that is weakest for you, and break that one rather than trying to break all four.
You slipped. What now?
Four steps, in order: stop the session now, tell one person, change the one condition that let it happen, and restart today rather than Monday. The shame is what produces the next one.
Writing your own trigger map
Log five things every time it happens for a week, then turn the log into one page: your hours, your places, your feelings and the two doors worth closing first.
The first week of stopping anything
The first week has a shape that repeats across behaviours: an easy start, a hard middle, a crash, and boredom that arrives late and matters most. Plus the substances where stopping suddenly is dangerous.
Telling someone when it sounds ridiculous
Lead with the cost, not the behaviour. Three sentences, in that order, get an unusual compulsion taken seriously, and there is a script for the person who laughs anyway.
Friction, the one move that works for everything
Friction means adding steps between the cue and the act, so the urge has to survive a delay. Find your cue, then add three pieces of friction today.
Getting through any craving
A craving routine that does not depend on what the craving is for. Change the room, change the body, put a delay on the decision, and tell one person. Ten minutes, starting now.
Habit or compulsion: how to tell
A habit stops when you decide to stop it. A compulsion resists the decision and keeps going after it costs you. Four questions tell them apart, and none of them need a diagnosis.
How to stop a compulsion you cannot name
Your compulsion doesn't need a diagnosis or a name to be real. Use the control test to check where you are, then run the four moves that work for any behaviour.